From SAHM to WAHM

Well, my god, I’ve done it. No more SAHM. I am feeling super lucky to say that I can now change my acronymic tag to WAHM.

I have total respect for women (and men) who choose to stay at home and raise their children. I think it is the toughest job in the world, and that’s why I don’t think I could do it for the long term. I think after awhile I would begin to feel one dimensional, like being a mother was all there was to me. That wouldn’t do anything for my self confidence and then I think there would be a knock on effect on my relationship with Bird. If I didn’t feel like I had much to offer, how could he continue to find me attractive in an emotional, mental and physical way?

Was it Oprah or the Dalai Lama who said you have to love yourself before you can love someone else? Someone very wise anyway.

I find it a little perplexing that I need to work to feel more complete and more myself. If you had asked me before having children about all of this, I would have told you I thought that being a mother would make me feel whole. Now, here I find myself with two beautiful children and I feel the process of becoming a mother has slightly eroded my sense of self.

It’s complicated stuff, self identity isn’t it!

I had been thinking about returning to work for a few months when about a month ago something happened which gave me the impetus I needed to act on my wishes. I’m very much a believer that you make your life how you want it. There are many things that suck about being an adult but at least as an adult you make your choices. Sure, there are some things outside your control, but for the most part you choose the life you live.

While what happened a month ago was devastating, some good has come of it. Clarity slapped me across the face. I suddenly felt the urge to change things and it was time to push myself forward and reach for what I want. I don’t know if I have some astrological funk going on or what, but since my birthday in July challenges that have previously felt insurmountable have been overcome.

I feel light and lucky and really happy and long may it continue.

woman's shadow in heels on street

 

 

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9 responses to “From SAHM to WAHM

  1. That is so great! Congratulations! Yes, this SAHM gig is a total job in itself and I find myself wishy washy in longing for the days when I was employed. When I wasn’t just a mom. And everything else about my identity was a blur. At this point I’m always afraid of getting back out there because it’s been so long now. The longer the delay the more difficult it is resume-wise but also self-esteem wise!!! Enjoy your new venture!

    • Thank you :) I know what you mean about self esteem. You have to have the confidence to stand proud of your resume, and that can be hard when you’ve lost sight of the work side of you. You should be proud of being a SAHM, it’s a tough, tough gig! x

  2. HUGE congratulations and I’m dying to know what the work bit will entail. I am a frustrated SAHM and NEED to be doing something, anything other than the Mum bit. In September I get 2 mornings a week to be me and if I want more than that then I need to find something that pays the childcare. Well done again and do share what you’ll be up to. I need inspiration x

    • Thank you missus :) It’s working as a Web Editor. In my previous life, before children, I worked in digital media so it’s a return to that world. Doubt I’ll be paying for a trip to the Maldives with what’s left over after paying for childcare but there’s more to it than just the money, as I’m sure you know! How exciting that you’ll have a little time to devote to something in September. Did anything come of hooking up with your friend so start a business? You should so do something crafty, or to do with upcycling, or photography. Something creative. You’re so talented.

  3. I guess that WAHM mum will also have her challenges but I totally agree that being a SAHM takes its toll. I love my kids dearly but after 6 years of doing nothing but producing and nurturing babies, I was ready to do something for myself and started working part time. Makes me feel more of a person for some reason but I understand it’s not that way for all. Good luck :)

  4. I totally understand what you mean. However, I went the opposite way… for now anyway I’m at home with my toddler and expecting my second in the winter. Enjoy your time at work, make you mark :0)

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