In more sense than one, I need a little more space.
Quite literally, as I think we are busting out of our apartment. When we moved in we thought we could easily squish another baby in – afterall, babies are really small. What were we thinking?! I blame pregnancy hormones on my part. Don’t know what Bird’s excuse is though.
Shine is in our room at the moment as she’s still fairly nocturnal and I hate getting out of my warm bed during the night. This means though that Bird has been forced out onto the sofabed as his snoring keeps Shine awake, which wakes me, which wakes him as I elbow him in the ribs in an attempt to stop him snoring. Much as I like the peace and quiet, I miss him. And much as Bird enjoys reliving his teenage years by staying up late playing video games undisturbed by me, his back doesn’t like the sofabed.
Putting Shine in with Sun isn’t an option either as his room is a ‘double’ in the sense that a double bed and nothing else would fit in there. Even if we managed to squeeze them in together I fear they would play tag all night waking each other.
So it’s time to think about moving to a new, larger nest.
In a physical sense, I need more space. Typing this I have Shine on my lap and Sun nuzzled up under my arm. Don’t get me wrong, I love a cuddle, but at the moment I am totally touched out. I get to the end of the day and the last thing I want to do is snuggle up next to Bird on the couch, which is awful. I probably sounds like a cold cow by saying this. I love cuddling a little baby and I appreciate the cuddles I get with Sun as I know as time goes on he’ll probably have less and less time for ‘mummy cuddles’. It’s just both, in combination, all day long.
And lastly, in a mental sense, I need some more space. I feel like I need more time to myself at the moment to get my head around things and have the head space to think about the future and what it holds.
Maya Angelou said “The horizon leans forward, offering you space to place new steps of change.” With this in mind, on the weekend I went in search of open space. I was lucky enough to grow up near the coast and there’s nothing like the glorious sense of space you get when your eyes follow the sea out to where it meets the sky. Reality check though. I couldn’t get to the coast so had to make do with exploring a new park not too far from me and gazing out over a lovely lake, watching the birds bib-bob about. Aaaah, lovely!