This week Mumsnet has launched a campaign to improve miscarriage care. There are a few ways you can help support the campaign so check out their site if you want to find out more. I want to show my support for the campaign by telling my story.
I lost a baby between having my son and my daughter. I was just over 6 weeks pregnant when I began bleeding heavily. I went to my GP who told me that it was very common for pregnancies to end abruptly early on. He also told me that if early pregnancy tests were not available then I might not have known I was pregnant at all. It didn’t console me.
My GP referred me to the Early Pregnancy Unit (EPU) at the hospital. When I arrived I remember it all feeling very surreal. There were other women and men around me, some with the same blank expression I wore.
The doctor scanned me and confimed that I was miscarrying. She then went on to say I was fortunate as I had already had a ‘live birth’ (charming) so I shouldn’t be worried about recurrent miscarriage. She also said I was lucky as it was early days and my body seemed to be taking care of things itself.
I don’t deny for a second that having to go through an ERPC would have been horrendous, but I certainly didn’t feel lucky or fortunate. I felt devastated. I felt numb. I had lost the baby I had spent three weeks thinking about. I had tested early as I had begun vomitting early. I had hyperemesis during my first pregnancy and was one of those few women who experience nausea and vomitting almost immediately after conception. I had had three weeks to weave the notion of that much wanted baby into our family narrative.
Every baby that is lost is precious. Sensitivity is key. Sometimes all you need is someone to say they are sorry for your loss. No comparing it to what it could have been. Just a little compassion.
If you want to share your story visit Salt & Caramel and scroll to the bottom to add your post.