Things I won’t be teaching my children

I’ve been tossing up whether to get Sun some Duplo/Lego for Christmas. I think it would be good for him developmentally but I am just so bad at building things with blocks. The other day he asked me to build him a crane and this was the best I could do:

crane

Building for Beginners

And that’s actually some of my finer work, normally it’s much more abstract. Unfortunately, while it looks quite pretty, it was useless as a crane. The arm kept falling off and I could see the frustration building in Sun.

Here are some other things I won’t be teaching my children:

– How to swaddle a baby. I gave up and bought those little zip-up pods.

– The appropriate number of layers to dress a child in. I grew up in a hot climate so I have no idea when it comes to dressing children in the winter in the UK. I usually err on the side of caution only to find I am the only mother at playgroup with a baby in a snowsuit in September.

– Any ball sports. Never throw anything at me and expect me to catch it. I am missing that instinct. I live in fear that stray balls will roll to my feet at the park and I’ll be expected to throw them back to people. I’d rather walk over and place it in their hand to avoid embarrassment.

And I’m sure there are plenty of other things that my children will soon work out I’m no good at. I’m going to have to rely on Bird or greater society to teach these things to my children. I will stick to teaching them other useful things like how to make banana bread and what to do if you get stung by a bluebottle at the beach.

Make me feel better about my inadequacies – what won’t you be teaching your children?

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3 responses to “Things I won’t be teaching my children

  1. Ha! Lego is good (except if stepped on)!

    Hmmm what won’t I be teaching my children? Easy – to eat the crusts! My mum always made me eat them and I hated it!

  2. Pingback: Six Months of Shine | bluebirdsunshine·

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