Little Lady

You know sometimes you hear a song and it just stops you dead in your tracks and holds you captive? Well earlier this week I stumbled across a song that did this to me and it has been whirring around in my head ever since.

As parents we can’t choose our children’s path in life and this scares the shit out of me. Naturally I want the best for my son and daughter – happiness, success, love and the best of health. Who doesn’t? I can’t imagine having to send my child to another country in the hope that they will find a better life but I can imagine that you would do it in a heartbeat if you thought that it was in their best interest.

I think this song really hit me like a tonne of bricks as well, and had hot tears flowing down my face before it reached the shocking final words, because there’s a personal connection. My eldest brother died of a heroin overdose when he was roughly the age I am now, early thirties. I rarely talk about it because it still feels raw even all these years later.

I find it desperately sad that sometimes love isn’t enough. You can do everything in your power to try and steer your children onto a good path and to try and help them out of trouble but at the end of the day they are individuals and you can’t live their life for them.

Hearing this song has changed my perspective this week. Having young children is demanding, there’s no doubting it. We get caught up in the drudgery of sleepless nights, endless washing, tantrums and tears. I’m seeing it in a new light though and enjoying it for what it is. In the blink of an eye Sun and Shine won’t be children any longer, they will be adults living their own lives, making their own choices. I am so grateful to be in the position I’m in and have what I have and it’s all too easy to forget this. This song has served as a brilliant reminder to be thankful for what I have.

7 responses to “Little Lady

  1. What a heart felt, personal post – the song telling a story that I know is happening all over the world but I am lucky enough to be distant from these problems. As you, I sometimes get so scared about the future paths our children choose, their destiny and what they will become so we as mothers can only do the very best we are able to and cherish the days when they are young and innocent, tender and reliant on us as one day they will fly the nest. If we love them we will have to let them go, if we do let them fly they are sure to return. Thank you for this post, for your honesty and touching on a subject that is so dear to your heart!

  2. And you’ve almost got the tears flowing down my cheeks with this lovely post. Sorry to hear about the loss of your brother, I can’t imagine how you ever get over that.

    I think the hardest thing you ever have to do as a parent is accept that your children are individuals in their own right and what they choose to do with their life is ultimately up to them. So yes, enjoying them and appreciating the time you have with them when they are young is so important.

  3. sorry about your brother, I’ve been getting scared about having to register at schools etc, wish we could plan their lives for them.xx

  4. It is so scary to think of what your children might struggle with in their lives once you aren’t there to guide them on everything (and even sometimes when you are). It must be even more scary for you having been so close to something like that. All we can do is love and enjoy our children as much as we can, and hope for the best elsewhere…

  5. My older brother also struggled with a heroin addiction for years. For at least 4 years every unexpected phone call I received terrified me because I was afraid that it was the worst possible news. And I certainly remember trying to support my Mom when she sobbed that maybe she had done something wrong. Thankfully, he’s come out on the other side; I’m so sorry that this wasn’t the case for your brother.

    I do get it. And I feel the same. I want to love and let this time in her life wash over me. There will be no other time like it.

  6. Wow.

    What a powerful song. I can see why you were so moved. That’s awful about your brother, but you seem to have coped in a really mature way

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