When Shine was 6 days old Bird took to our sofa bed in search of sleep. He has always slept terribly and had problems going back to sleep once he’s woken so a newborn baby waking constantly throughout the night was not doing him any favours and he needed sleep to be able to do his job so the sofa bed it was.
After a couple of months when Shine was waking a little less regularly he tried to come back to the bed. That night none of us got any sleep. Bird would start snoring, which would cause Shine to stir, which would of course wake me. I would then poke Bird to stop him snoring and he would wake. I tried to go back to sleep but then Shine would need feeding and the whole cycle would start over. It was exhausting for all of us so Bird returned to the sofa bed in the lounge.
Another few months passed and Bird was desperate to come back to a proper bed. I was struggling to get by on months and months of broken sleep and any threat to the little sleep I was getting was met with a stern look and a firm, no.
We tried to consider alternatives but there wasn’t room in Sun’s bedroom for Shine to share and I honestly don’t know how people make room sharing work. Doesn’t one wake the other? Both mine are very light sleepers and there was no way I was messing with their sleep so the sleeping arrangements remained unchanged and we began to seriously consider moving to a bigger home so we could have an extra room for Shine.
Anyone who reads this blog will know that we did just that two weeks ago. So now Shine has her own bedroom and for the first time in almost a year Bird and I are back to sharing a bed. So how’s it going? Hmmm. I think it’s going to take a little time to get used to sharing again.
Firstly, I miss Shine. Sounds crazy, I know, because she is sleeping soundly in her room and obviously isn’t missing me. I miss the comfort of seeing her sleep as the last thing before I fall into sleep myself. I miss her little sucky dummy noises she would make throughout the night. I miss watching her twist and turn about the cot throwing her arms this way and that and snuggling her head into the cot bumper. I miss hearing her little snuffly purr. I miss hearing her wake in the morning and seeing her head poke up above the bumper and greet me.
I will get used to her being in her own room in time, I’m sure. I’ve also gone from having a bed all to myself to sharing with a big grown up. Very different to sharing with a baby. There is blanket-hogging and space-hogging aplenty and I’m aware when Bird’s awake and stirring. Snoring has killed any potential intimacy that may have been regained by the reunion as well. Snore strips do nothing people. Don’t waste your money.
So I’ve gone from being a twenty year old woman who was happy to share a single bed for a year with my man, to a mother happy to share my room with a baby, and now a tired woman trying very hard to get back to restfully sleeping with my husband. I can see now how having separate rooms works for some couples. I don’t want to do that, and we’re not moving again to a bigger house, I just want to go back to sharing a bed easily with Bird.