In four sleeps time I will be on my way to Paris. Just me and my little suitcase. No children, no husband.
Insert big squeal here.
I’m going for a couple of days to catch up with a few dear friends convening from different parts of the world. We’ve known each other for twenty years and even though we don’t all see each other regularly anymore I’m sure that within a few minutes it will be as if we saw each other last week. There are years of history between us and memories that form the bricks of a solid foundation of friendship.
I am in desperate need of the time away. I can’t remember the last time I felt like me, and not somebody’s mother or somebody’s wife. I need these lovely ladies to replenish my soul and remind me that I exist outside those roles. It’s so easy to lose sight of yourself when you don’t work and you stay at home caring for your children. You’re not defined by your work, so when you meet new people and they ask what you do, you find yourself defining yourself by your role as a mother.
That is no bad thing, being a mother, but it’s not all there is to me. So rather than resent my life and regret the choices I have made, I’d rather top up my happiness levels by going to Paris for a few days to spend time with people who I love.
It will be very hard ignoring my ingrained nanna tendencies. I will NOT be going to bed before darkness falls and I WILL attempt a lie in.
I only wish I could be greedy and have two trips to Paris. One with my friends, as planned, and then another just Bird and I. I’m sure as I walk around the cobbled streets of the Marais he will be at the forefront of my mind as it was there, 13 years ago almost to the week, that we switched from being friends to lovers. I’ll miss him while I’m gone.
Mustn’t get melancholic over what I can’t have though, time to focus on what I do have. I have a bag to think about packing and a thousand lists to start writing for Bird. I’m not kidding when I say I need to leave a list of what to dress Shine in while I’m gone. Not because I care what she is wearing, but because if I don’t detail what clothing items go together then she may spend the weekend wearing just a nappy and this weather is not nappy-only weather unfortunately.
Paris, here I come!