If I asked others what they saw when they looked at this photo they might say a woman with short brown hair, hazel eyes, sporting a bit of a tired look, wearing no make up, who maybe could have used a mirror when she did her hair this morning.
I look at this photo though and I see myself holding back from being me. I see the smile I’m hiding. I see the crooked teeth behind my lips.
So on Monday at the grand age of 35 I’m having braces put (back) on. I had perfectly straight teeth after years of orthodontist appointments as a teenager but my teeth are stubborn and over the past decade they’ve slid back to their crooked ways.
Try as I might, I can’t embrace them as a part of what makes me me. I find them ugly, I feel ugly when I smile, and I’m ashamed of that. I want to teach my children that looks don’t matter and that quirks are beautiful, but yet I can’t do it myself.
So call me a hypocrite, call me vain, call me selfish for wasting money on myself. You’d be right in doing so.
I figure I have (hopefully) another three or four decades on this earth and I want to smile openly and not hold back the smiles I feel inside. I want to face forward when someone points a camera at me, or a mirror. I want to be in the photos I have of my family as at the moment I’m often hiding a smile and a face behind the camera.
The theme for The Gallery this week is faces. Go show some bloggy love and check out other people’s beautiful pics.