Face Forward

Self Portrait | bluebirdsunshineThis is me. This is my face. Apart from that little bio pic of me over there (points to the left) you won’t find pics of me on my blog. Here’s why.

If I asked others what they saw when they looked at this photo they might say a woman with short brown hair, hazel eyes, sporting a bit of a tired look, wearing no make up, who maybe could have used a mirror when she did her hair this morning.

I look at this photo though and I see myself holding back from being me. I see the smile I’m hiding. I see the crooked teeth behind my lips.

So on Monday at the grand age of 35 I’m having braces put (back) on. I had perfectly straight teeth after years of orthodontist appointments as a teenager but my teeth are stubborn and over the past decade they’ve slid back to their crooked ways.

Try as I might, I can’t embrace them as a part of what makes me me. I find them ugly, I feel ugly when I smile, and I’m ashamed of that. I want to teach my children that looks don’t matter and that quirks are beautiful, but yet I can’t do it myself.

So call me a hypocrite, call me vain, call me selfish for wasting money on myself. You’d be right in doing so.

I figure I have (hopefully) another three or four decades on this earth and I want to smile openly and not hold back the smiles I feel inside. I want to face forward when someone points a camera at me, or a mirror. I want to be in the photos I have of my family as at the moment I’m often hiding a smile and a face behind the camera.

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The theme for The Gallery this week is faces. Go show some bloggy love and check out other people’s beautiful pics.

Sticky Fingers Photo Gallery
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9 responses to “Face Forward

  1. You can see you are smiling through your eyes 🙂 but it would be lovely if you had the confidence to openly smile so good luck x

  2. Pingback: Sticky Cinnamon and Pecan Buns | GBBO #6 | bluebirdsunshine·

  3. you have a beautiful face with the perfect hair cut to match. you are very brave to have braces put on BUT it will all be worth it and its not forever so smile and show the world (and your children) that its what is on the inisde that really matters x x

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